AITA for Moving out, stopping the electric and leaving my roommate to figure out the rent?

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When Trust is Broken: A Roommate’s Betrayal

In a shocking turn of events, a young woman discovers that her college best friend has not only broken into her locked room but also stolen her belongings while she was away giving birth. After years of friendship, the betrayal leads to a dramatic fallout that leaves both women facing serious consequences. This story raises thought-provoking questions about trust, boundaries, and the complexities of adult friendships, making it relatable to anyone who has navigated the challenges of living with roommates. Can a friendship survive such a breach, or is it too late to mend the broken trust?

Family Drama Over a Broken Trust

A 26-year-old woman (referred to as OP) faced significant conflict resolution challenges after moving into an apartment in Florida with her college best friend, a 21-year-old woman. The situation escalated into wedding tension as OP navigated her pregnancy and the subsequent fallout from a breach of trust.

OP allowed her friend to choose the master bedroom, while she took the smaller room.
OP furnished most of the apartment, including a 75-inch TV in the living room.
After discovering she was pregnant, OP decided to return home for the birth but continued to pay rent, planning to return later.
Before leaving, OP moved her TV into her locked bedroom to protect it from her friend’s careless behavior when under the influence.

About a month after OP’s departure, her friend informed her that her brother would be staying over. OP had no objections, as she found him to be a decent person. However, during a FaceTime call, OP noticed a large TV in the background.

OP inquired about the TV, only to learn that her friend and her brother had taken OP’s TV from her locked room.
Her friend casually mentioned that she used a knife to unlock the door, disregarding OP’s property rights.

Feeling betrayed, OP ended the call and sought assistance from a maintenance friend to check on her apartment. The findings were alarming:

OP’s room was messy, indicating unauthorized access.
Her locked bathroom had been broken into.
Both her friend and her brother had been wearing OP’s clothes.

In a state of anger, OP confronted her friend, who claimed it was selfish for OP to keep the TV in her room since they had no other entertainment options. This response led OP to take drastic measures:

She had her sister and a friend remove her belongings from the apartment while her friend was at work.
OP sent her friend half the money for shared items, including the dining table, despite feeling petty about it.
She disconnected the electricity to prevent her friend from incurring additional bills and stopped paying rent.

Tragically, OP lost her baby and returned home earlier than expected, only to find the apartment in disarray. Her friend had moved out, stopped paying rent, and both their credit reports were now affected by the delinquency.

Years of friendship were shattered in an instant, leaving OP feeling abandoned and without an apology or accountability from her former friend. The situation raises the question: AITA for handling it this way? Should OP have continued paying rent since moving in together was her idea?

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

I 26F moved into an apartment in Florida with my college bestie 21F. I let her pick her room, so she took the master with an en-suite, and I got the smaller one. I also furnished most of the place, including putting a 75 TV in the living room.

A few months in, I got pregnant and decided to go home to give birth, but I kept paying rent since I planned to return. Before leaving, I moved my TV into my locked bedroom. She could still use everything else, but I did this because she gets careless when high or drunk, leaving keys in the door, passing out randomly, etc. I didn’t want my things stolen or damaged.

About a month later, she mentioned her brother was staying over. He was cool, so I had no issue with it. I was actually thinking of offering him my room since he was only staying a few days.

But on FaceTime, I noticed a big TV in the background. I asked, “Oh, you got a new TV?” She said no. “Did he bring one?” Again, no.

Then she pans the camera and says, “Oh, we took yours out of your room. It just goes with the aesthetics.” I said, “But my room was locked?” She just shrugged.

I used a knife to get in. Like it was nothing. I blacked out, cussed her out, and ended the call.

Then I asked my maintenance friend from the complex to check things out. It wasn’t just my TV—my room was messy, my locked bathroom had been broken into, and both she and her brother had been wearing my clothes. I was livid.

I called her, and she finally answered when I threatened legal action. She said it was selfish of me to put the TV in my room because they had nothing to use. Mind you, we both had TVs in our bedrooms.

At that point, I was done. I had my sister and a friend clear out my stuff while she was at work. Anything we bought together, I sent her half the money for—including the dining table, even though I was being petty when I took it.

I also disconnected the electricity—I didn’t want her running up a spite bill—and stopped paying rent. Unfortunately, I lost the baby and returned earlier than planned.

When I got back, the apartment was trashed. She had moved out, stopped paying rent, and now the delinquency is on both our credit reports. Years of friendship gone, just like that.

No apology, no accountability, no nothing. Just one FaceTime call, and that was it. AITA for handling it this way? Should I have kept paying rent since moving in together was my idea?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a divided opinion on the situation, with many users pointing out that while the roommate’s actions were unacceptable, the original poster (OP) made significant mistakes by not formally breaking the lease and stopping rent payments. Several commenters emphasize that OP should have communicated with the landlord and taken proactive steps to protect their financial interests, while others express sympathy for OP’s difficult circumstances and the violation of their personal space. Overall, the comments reflect a mix of accountability for both parties involved.

Verdict: ESH (Everyone Sucks Here)

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Conflict resolution in situations like this can be challenging, especially when emotions run high and trust has been broken. Here are some practical steps for both OP and her former friend to consider in order to address the fallout and move forward.

For OP:

Reflect on Your Emotions: Take some time to process your feelings about the situation. Acknowledge your anger and sadness, especially after the loss of your baby. Understanding your emotions can help you communicate more effectively.
Document Everything: Gather all relevant information regarding the lease, payments, and any communication with your former friend. This documentation will be crucial if you need to take legal action or discuss the situation with your landlord.
Communicate with the Landlord: Reach out to your landlord to explain the situation. Discuss the possibility of breaking the lease or finding a new roommate to take over your friend’s share. This proactive step can help mitigate financial damage.
Consider Mediation: If you feel comfortable, suggest a mediated conversation with your former friend. A neutral third party can help facilitate a discussion about what happened and how both parties can take responsibility.
Focus on Healing: Prioritize your emotional well-being. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate your feelings and the loss you experienced.

For the Former Friend:

Acknowledge the Breach of Trust: Recognize that your actions violated OP’s trust and property rights. Taking responsibility is the first step toward mending the relationship.
Reach Out to OP: If you feel ready, consider reaching out to OP to apologize for your actions. A sincere apology can go a long way in rebuilding trust, even if the friendship cannot be restored.
Reflect on Your Behavior: Take time to understand why you felt justified in your actions. Consider how substance use may have influenced your decisions and seek help if necessary.
Communicate with the Landlord: If you were involved in the lease, contact the landlord to discuss the situation. Be honest about what happened and explore options for resolving any financial obligations.
Learn from the Experience: Use this situation as a learning opportunity. Reflect on how you can make better choices in future living arrangements and friendships.

Moving Forward:

Both parties should focus on personal growth and learning from this experience. While the friendship may not be salvageable, understanding the impact of their actions can help prevent similar conflicts in the future. Open communication, accountability, and a willingness to learn are key components in resolving conflicts and fostering healthier relationships.

Join the Discussion

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