WIBTA if I asked my bf to turn off his own alarm?

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Alarm Clocks and Relationship Tensions

In a relatable tale of morning struggles, a woman grapples with her boyfriend’s growing reliance on her to turn off his alarm, disrupting her carefully crafted morning routine. As he prioritizes his early work schedule, she finds herself increasingly frustrated, especially on her days off when she craves a peaceful start. The story raises questions about boundaries, personal space, and the balance of responsibilities in a relationship, making it a thought-provoking read for anyone who has navigated the complexities of shared living. Will she finally confront him about this morning annoyance, or will love keep her from speaking up?

Family Drama Over Morning Alarms: A Conflict Resolution Dilemma

In a relationship marked by love and shared routines, a couple is facing unexpected tension due to a seemingly small issue: morning alarms. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:

Background: The couple, consisting of a 32-year-old woman and her 30-year-old boyfriend, have been together for nearly four years.
Alarm Issue: Recently, the boyfriend has been requesting that his girlfriend turn off his morning alarm, which he deliberately places out of reach from their bed.
Frequency of Requests: Initially, he asked her to turn off the alarm on random days, but this has escalated to almost every morning.
Impact on Routine: The girlfriend is not a morning person and has her own morning routine to avoid being grumpy. The need to get out of bed to turn off his alarm disrupts her routine and causes significant frustration.
Timing of Alarms: The boyfriend’s alarm is set approximately 40 minutes before hers, sometimes even just 10 minutes prior. He often stays in bed after she turns off his alarm, which adds to her irritation.
Mixed Feelings: While she enjoys the cuddling that occurs after turning off the alarm, she misses the previous dynamic where he would turn off his alarm himself and return to cuddle.

Given the ongoing conflict, the girlfriend is contemplating whether she should address the issue directly. She is considering telling her boyfriend that he needs to either:

Turn off his own alarm from now on.
Not set an alarm and wake up when her alarm goes off.

This situation highlights the complexities of family drama and the importance of conflict resolution in relationships. The couple must navigate their differing morning preferences while maintaining their bond. The girlfriend is seeking advice on whether she would be in the wrong for asserting her needs regarding the morning routine.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

Me 32F and my bf 30M have been together for nearly 4 years now. Since a couple of months, he keeps asking me to turn off the alarm on his phone in the morning. First, he asked me only a couple of random days, but now it is almost daily.

He deliberately puts his phone quite far away from our bed, so he has to get up to turn off the alarm. Now I have to get out of bed to turn it off, and I HATE it. Like I don’t even know how to describe how much it annoys and irritates me.

I am not a morning person, and he knows this, and I have my own morning routine to make sure I am not grumpy towards everyone in the morning. But turning off his alarm messes up my routine and makes me really frustrated in the morning. Even more so when he asks me to turn off his alarm on my day off.

My bf has his own company and prefers to be early at his office. So his alarm is usually set about 40 minutes before my alarm. But sometimes it is also set 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

He will ask me to ‘please turn it off one more time’ and then stay in bed till my alarm goes. Now this is where I might be the AH, because the extra time in bed he mostly spends cuddling me, and I really love it. Before this all started, he used to turn off his alarm himself and come back to bed to cuddle, but that doesn’t happen anymore.

WIBTA if I told him to either turn off his own alarm from now on, or just not set an alarm and get up when my alarm goes off?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster is not at fault (NTA) for wanting their partner to turn off his alarm. Many users suggest that the partner should take responsibility for his own alarm and emphasize the importance of communication in the relationship. Additionally, several comments highlight the potential for controlling behavior if one partner consistently disrupts the other’s sleep without consideration.

Overall Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Alarm Conflict

Conflict in relationships, even over seemingly minor issues like morning alarms, can lead to significant frustration if not addressed. Here are some practical steps for both partners to navigate this situation effectively:

For the Girlfriend

Communicate Openly: Schedule a calm moment to discuss the alarm issue with your boyfriend. Use “I” statements to express how the situation affects you, such as “I feel frustrated when I have to get out of bed to turn off your alarm.”
Set Boundaries: Clearly state your needs. You might say, “I need you to either turn off your alarm yourself or adjust your schedule so it doesn’t disrupt my routine.”
Offer Solutions: Suggest alternatives that work for both of you. For example, he could set his alarm to a time that allows him to wake up without needing your help, or he could use a vibrating alarm that he can feel without disturbing you.

For the Boyfriend

Reflect on Your Needs: Consider why you prefer to have your girlfriend turn off your alarm. Is it comfort, laziness, or something else? Understanding your motivations can help you communicate better.
Take Responsibility: Acknowledge that it’s your alarm and your responsibility to turn it off. Make a commitment to either wake up with your alarm or adjust it so it doesn’t interfere with your girlfriend’s routine.
Be Open to Compromise: Discuss with your girlfriend how you can both have a more peaceful morning. This might involve adjusting your alarm time or finding a new alarm method that works for both of you.

Joint Steps for Resolution

Establish a Morning Routine: Work together to create a morning routine that accommodates both of your needs. This could include setting alarms that allow for a smoother transition into the day.
Check-in Regularly: Make it a habit to check in with each other about how the morning routine is working. This can help prevent future frustrations and ensure both partners feel heard.
Practice Empathy: Remember that both of you have different preferences and needs. Approach the situation with understanding and a willingness to find a solution that respects both perspectives.

By addressing the alarm issue with empathy and open communication, both partners can strengthen their relationship and create a more harmonious morning routine.

Join the Discussion

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What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
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