UPDATE – AITA for leaving thanksgiving dinner without explanation after seeing my ex was there?
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When Friendship and Exes Collide
In a heart-wrenching tale of friendship and betrayal, a woman arrives at her best friend’s house for a holiday gathering, only to find her ex-boyfriend unexpectedly present. The shock of seeing him sends her fleeing, leaving her friend confused and hurt. As the days pass, unanswered messages and a sudden block on social media raise questions about loyalty and trust in their long-standing friendship. This story resonates with anyone who’s navigated the complexities of relationships and the emotional fallout that can ensue when past loves resurface.
Family Drama and Wedding Tension: A Friendship in Crisis
In a recent post, a user shared their experience of a significant conflict with their best friend, which escalated into family drama and left them feeling abandoned. Here’s a summary of the situation:
- Background: The user had a long-standing friendship with their best friend and had planned to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas together.
- Thanksgiving Incident: Upon arriving at their best friend’s house, the user unexpectedly encountered their ex-boyfriend, which led to immediate discomfort.
- Immediate Reaction: The user left the house without engaging with their friend, despite her attempts to call after them.
- Communication Breakdown: After returning home, the user received numerous messages from their friend, questioning why they left so abruptly. The user chose not to respond right away.
Additional context revealed:
- The user’s sister was present at the gathering to assist with preparations.
- Prior to the user’s arrival, the sister had seen the ex-boyfriend arriving with the best friend’s brother and attempted to inform the user, but the user was unable to check their phone due to driving restrictions.
After a couple of days, the user finally responded to their friend, expressing disappointment and anger over the lack of communication regarding the ex-boyfriend’s presence. The response from the friend was an apology, but the user felt it was insincere.
- Friend’s Reaction: The best friend did not reply for several hours and eventually blocked the user on social media.
- Mutual Friends: The user reached out to mutual friends for insight, only to discover that many had also been blocked by the best friend.
- Uncertainty: The user speculated that the best friend might be hiding something, leading to feelings of betrayal and confusion.
As of now, nearly two months have passed without any communication from the best friend. The user has chosen to focus on their relationship with their boyfriend and is open to advice from others regarding the situation.
This story highlights the complexities of friendships, especially when intertwined with past relationships, and raises questions about conflict resolution in the face of unexpected family drama and wedding tension.
This is Original story from Reddit
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
Story
Hi lovelies! I know that y’all don’t remember me, but it’s fine. First, I would like to thank those few people who commented on my last post.
About two months ago, I made a post on another account about me leaving my kinda ex-best friend’s house after seeing my ex-boyfriend there. Y’all can read it here; I don’t know if the link works, so let me know if it doesn’t.
A quick recap—sorry if it’s long.
A month earlier, before the incident, my best friend and I planned on spending Thanksgiving and Christmas together, like how we used to do most of the time. That same week, she suggested that we spend it at her house and maybe I could spend the night there, which, not gonna lie, was a great idea, so I agreed.
Well, fast forward to Thanksgiving. I arrived at her house, and the door was unlocked, so I just let myself in. To make it clear, we’ve been best friends for many years, so it was normal for us to just go into each other’s houses at times, especially during events, without knocking.
And if you’re gonna ask, yes, she gave me permission to.
Once I was inside, my eyes immediately spotted a familiar figure who definitely was my ex sitting at the side of the table where I could clearly see his face. I didn’t even hesitate and immediately turned around and left.
My best friend then tried to chase me down by yelling for me, but I was already gone by then. I “definitely” didn’t ignore her, and like everybody else who went through the same situation, as soon as I drove back to my house, I had over 10 messages from her, basically asking why I left so early even though I had just arrived and that dinner was gonna start soon. I left her on seen.
So sorry, I forgot to mention that my sister was gonna be there with us as well, and that she arrived earlier before me for two reasons. First, my best friend needed her to be there for help with decorating, cooking, and other stuff, all related to the event.
But while my sister was there, she saw my ex arriving with my best friend’s brother and texted me right away. However, I couldn’t respond or see the text because I was already driving to my best friend’s house, and like I said in my last post, my phone was on DND because I didn’t want to risk getting a ticket.
The second reason is that I had some really important stuff to do, which, for some privacy reasons, I’ll be keeping private. Sorry for the confusion!
I only responded about 2-3 days later because I still couldn’t believe what just happened that day. In the text, I said, “Hey. Why didn’t you tell me that my ex was gonna be there? In fact, WHY would you or ANYONE invite him, knowing damn well what he did to me in the past?”
Well, she didn’t know what to say to that and left me on seen for a couple of hours before texting me back, apologizing and saying that she ‘didn’t know’ that he was coming. I told her that that was bullshit and that she knew damn well that he was gonna be there. She still hadn’t answered me yet.
The Update
Sorry to disappoint, but not much happened. After I sent that text, she never bothered to reply. Before I even knew it, she blocked me.
Why? I don’t know. Maybe she’s hiding something from me. I know I shouldn’t be saying that and suspecting her, considering we are still best friends, but I can’t help it.
I’ve never heard from her or seen her again. I tried asking our other mutual friends about her, and they all said that they didn’t hear anything from her ever since that day. Yes, I told them what happened and how it ended.
Some girls even said that she had blocked them the same day she blocked me. Now, the only one who possibly knows where she’s at and why she isn’t responding to anyone is her brother. But I don’t feel comfortable texting him, and I don’t think that I have the courage to.
So… yeah, that’s pretty much it. It’s been nearly two months, and I’m still blocked. I’ll post again if something happens, but for now, I’ll just continue enjoying life with my boyfriend.
If anyone has any questions to ask, please do; I don’t bite. I like reading y’all’s opinions, especially the ones who offer advice. Thanks for reading!
View the Original Reddit Post Here
Summary of Reddit Comments
The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster (OP) is not at fault (NTA) for distancing herself from her ex and her former best friend, who is now dating him. Many users emphasize that the friend’s actions were deceitful and that OP is better off without such toxic relationships. The overall sentiment suggests that OP should focus on her own well-being rather than concern herself with the actions of her ex and ex-best friend.
Verdict: NTA
Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict
Conflict in friendships, especially when intertwined with past relationships, can be incredibly challenging. Here are some practical steps for both the original poster (OP) and the best friend to consider in resolving this situation:
For the Original Poster (OP)
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to process your emotions regarding the situation. Acknowledge your feelings of hurt and betrayal, but also consider what you want moving forward.
- Reach Out for Closure: If you feel comfortable, consider sending a message to your best friend expressing your desire for closure. Be honest about your feelings but keep the tone respectful.
- Set Boundaries: If you choose to reconnect, establish clear boundaries regarding discussions about your ex-boyfriend. This will help prevent future misunderstandings.
- Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize your well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and loved ones.
- Consider Professional Support: If the emotional weight of the situation feels overwhelming, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support.
For the Best Friend
- Reflect on Your Actions: Take time to consider how your decisions may have impacted your friendship. Acknowledge any feelings of guilt or regret you may have about the situation.
- Communicate Openly: If you wish to mend the friendship, reach out to OP with a sincere apology. Be honest about your intentions and feelings regarding the situation.
- Be Prepared for Any Outcome: Understand that OP may need time to process your apology. Be open to the possibility that she may not be ready to reconnect.
- Respect Boundaries: If OP expresses a desire for space, respect her wishes. Show that you value her feelings and are willing to give her the time she needs.
- Learn from the Experience: Use this situation as an opportunity for personal growth. Reflect on how you can improve your communication and decision-making in future relationships.
Moving Forward
Conflict resolution requires effort from both parties. Whether the friendship can be salvaged or not, focusing on personal growth and emotional well-being is essential. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your own happiness and surround yourself with people who respect and support you.
Join the Discussion
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
Share your thoughts below! Vote: Do you agree with Reddit’s verdict?
