WIBTA for taking all three of my gaming consoles with me when I move out and leaving my family with none of them?

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When Moving Out Sparks a Family Feud

As a 17-year-old preparing to leave home, one young woman faces an unexpected battle over her gaming consoles. With her mother insisting she can only take one console, the tension escalates as the daughter argues that these gifts belong to her. This relatable dilemma touches on themes of ownership, family dynamics, and the emotional weight of moving out, resonating with many young adults navigating similar transitions. Will she stand her ground or give in to her mother’s guilt trip?

Family Drama Over Gaming Consoles

A 17-year-old girl, who is preparing to turn 18 in July, is facing a conflict with her mother regarding the gaming consoles she wishes to take when she moves out. The situation has escalated into a family drama, highlighting issues of ownership and emotional manipulation.

Background: The girl has received three gaming consoles as gifts: an Xbox 360, an Xbox One S, and a PlayStation 4. She plans to move in with two close friends after turning 18.
Mother’s Stance: The mother insists that the girl can only take the PlayStation 4 with her, arguing that the family would be left without gaming options if she takes the other two consoles. She believes that older consoles should be passed down within the family.
Girl’s Perspective: The girl feels that since the consoles were given to her as gifts, she has the right to take all of them. She has also invested her own money in purchasing games and additional content for the consoles.
Financial Contributions: While the mother has contributed to the Xbox by purchasing downloadable content for games, the girl argues that her financial investment in the consoles should grant her ownership over them.
Misunderstandings: The girl clarifies that her mother is exaggerating the situation by claiming there would be no gaming consoles left at home. An old GameCube is available, which could serve as an alternative for the family.
Limited Options: The girl has ruled out the possibility of leaving one console behind for family use, as she feels that if she leaves a console, it would be permanently taken away. She is also considering reducing contact with her parents due to past issues.

This situation raises questions about conflict resolution within families, especially regarding personal belongings and emotional ties. The girl is left wondering if she is in the wrong for wanting to take what she believes is rightfully hers as she prepares for her new life.

This is Original story from Reddit

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Story

I 17F am turning 18 in July. Because of this, I’m already starting to prepare what I’m going to take with me when I move out, even though that likely won’t be a while because I also plan to move in with 2 of my close friends and we need to arrange where we’ll be living first.

Some things I definitely want to take with me when I move out are my gaming consoles. An Xbox 360, an Xbox One S, and a Playstation 4, all of which were given to me as birthday or Christmas presents. Because they were given to me specifically, I think it’s only fair that I get to take them with me when I move out. However, my mother doesn’t seem to think so.

My mother believes that I can only take one console with me, the PS4, and leave both Xbox consoles with them. Her justification for it is that she and my sister, 5, “won’t have anything” if I take all the consoles. She also said that it’s a thing that when you get a new console, the older one is “passed down as a family console.”

I thought this was completely stupid because they were given to me as gifts, and now she just expects me to leave 2 of them behind just so they can actually have gaming consoles. I’d like to add that I’ve spent my own gift money on both the PS4 and Xbox One to buy games and other things for certain games. But she’s also bought quite a bit of stuff on the Xbox too, mainly DLCs for The Sims 4.

That’s another reason why she doesn’t want me to take the Xbox One, because she spent money on it herself. I feel like she’s trying to just guilt trip me, but I need to know if I’m really in the wrong for wanting to take things that were given to me with me when I move out. WIBTA?

Edit to add: I feel like I should have pointed this out originally, but my mother is acting like there would be absolutely no at-home gaming consoles left in the house when that isn’t the case at all. We have an old GameCube that has quite a few games too; all it needs is to get new cords to plug into the TV, and then the power button needs to be fixed because it’s stuck pressed down.

Edit 2: Since a lot of people are bringing up visiting my family when I move out and leaving one console there for them and switching the consoles out, that wouldn’t be an option. If I leave a console, it’s gone for good. My parents haven’t been the best people my whole life for more serious issues I didn’t feel the need to go into before, but these things are making me decide to go no contact with my father and limited contact with my mother.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster (OP) is not the asshole (NTA) for wanting to take their consoles with them when moving out. Many users emphasize that the consoles belong to OP and that their mother’s reasoning lacks validity, while also suggesting that OP should consider the potential impact on family relationships. There is a general agreement that leaving one console for the younger sister could be a reasonable compromise, but ultimately, OP has the right to keep what is theirs.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Family conflicts over personal belongings can be emotionally charged and complex. Here are some practical steps for both the girl and her mother to consider in order to reach a resolution that respects both perspectives.

For the Girl

Reflect on Ownership: Take a moment to consider the emotional significance of the consoles. While they were gifts, think about how they fit into your relationship with your family and your future.
Communicate Openly: Initiate a calm conversation with your mother. Express your feelings about the consoles and why they are important to you. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as “I feel that since I received these as gifts, they are mine to take with me.”
Propose a Compromise: Consider suggesting that you leave one console behind for family use, especially if you have a younger sibling. This could help maintain family connections while still allowing you to take the consoles you value most.
Set Boundaries: If you feel that your mother is emotionally manipulating the situation, it’s important to set boundaries. Let her know that while you value family, you also need to prioritize your own needs as you transition to adulthood.

For the Mother

Listen Actively: Approach the conversation with an open mind. Allow your daughter to express her feelings without interruption. Acknowledge her perspective and validate her emotions.
Consider the Bigger Picture: Reflect on the importance of supporting your daughter as she prepares to move out. Understand that her taking the consoles may not only be about the items themselves but also about her independence.
Explore Alternatives: If you feel strongly about keeping a console for family use, discuss the possibility of purchasing a new or used console that can serve as a family gaming option. This could alleviate the concern of being left without gaming options.
Focus on Relationships: Remember that family relationships are more important than material possessions. Consider how this situation might affect your relationship with your daughter in the long run and be willing to compromise for the sake of family harmony.

Conclusion

Ultimately, both parties should aim for a resolution that respects individual feelings and fosters family connections. Open communication, empathy, and a willingness to compromise can go a long way in resolving this conflict amicably.

Join the Discussion

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