WIBTA if I send screenshots of the mean messages to the parents of a family friend, an ‘influencer,’ who wanted to pay me for a commissioned painting in exchange for exposure?

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Art, Expectations, and Family Drama: A Creative Dilemma

When a struggling artist is asked to create a custom painting for free by her mom’s goddaughter, tensions rise as expectations clash with reality. Jen believes that exposure on social media is worth more than the artist’s time and materials, leading to a heated exchange that reveals deeper issues of self-worth and familial loyalty. This relatable story highlights the challenges many face in balancing personal aspirations with the demands of relationships, especially when financial struggles are involved. As the artist grapples with feelings of inadequacy and the pressure from her family, readers are left questioning the true value of art and the cost of friendship.

Family Drama Over a Painting Request

A conflict arose between two young women, stemming from a request for a painting that escalated into family drama. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:

Background: The narrator, a 25-year-old artist, was approached by Jen, her mom’s goddaughter, who is 29 years old. Jen admired a painting the narrator created for a mutual friend, Anna, who had paid for the artwork.
Request for Free Work: Jen requested a custom painting as a gift for her father, a retired photographer. However, she wanted the artwork for free, offering to promote the narrator’s work on her Instagram in exchange.
Financial Constraints: The narrator explained her financial difficulties and the costs associated with creating a custom-sized canvas, which is not readily available in stores. Despite this, Jen insisted that the narrator already had the materials and accused her of being greedy.
Escalation of Tension: Jen further demanded $200 for her promotional efforts, arguing that exposure would be more valuable than the artwork itself. She claimed that all artists start by doing free work, which added to the tension.
Personal Attacks: When the narrator did not respond promptly, Jen made derogatory comments about her past, including her medical discharge from the military. This personal attack deeply affected the narrator, especially when Jen suggested that she was failing to make her parents proud.
Involvement of Family: Jen escalated the situation by contacting the narrator’s mother, who has a preference for Jen. The mother called the narrator, demanding that she fulfill Jen’s request for a free painting, which led to the narrator feeling enraged.
Final Response: In a moment of frustration, the narrator created a quick sketch as a “free painting” and told Jen to leave her alone. This response infuriated Jen, who threatened to damage the narrator’s reputation by telling her followers not to buy from her.
Aftermath: The narrator received calls from her mother and negative messages from Jen’s followers, leading her to contemplate whether to inform Jen’s parents about their daughter’s behavior.

This situation highlights the complexities of family dynamics and the challenges of conflict resolution in creative professions. The narrator is left questioning her next steps and whether involving Jen’s parents would be appropriate, given their innocence in the family drama.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

My mom’s goddaughter, let’s call her Jen (29F), asked me (25F) to do a painting for her because she saw I did one for a mutual friend, let’s call her Anna. Jen wanted the painting as a gift for her father, who is a retired photographer. Here’s the thing: Anna paid me for the painting, and everything went smoothly.

She posted a picture of the painting with her mom as she was gifting it to her. Well, Jen saw that painting and became interested in one for her father. The problem is, she wanted me to do it for free.

She said she would advertise it on her Instagram and tell her fans to buy from me in exchange for the painting. I told her no, as I am not in a great financial spot right now, and I cannot afford to do something for free. She wanted a custom-sized canvas, which is not commonly found in stores.

I would either have to have it made myself or try to find it online for a reasonable price. I explained this to her, but she still didn’t understand. She said I already had the materials on hand and that she didn’t think art materials were that expensive.

She accused me of being greedy and not having a vision for business, claiming that her exposure would be more valuable than my art. She also said she wanted me to pay her $200 on top of the free painting, arguing that with her help, I would make so much money, and companies pay her to review things. She pointed out that every creative artist or individual, including her father, did free work at the beginning.

Everything went downhill when she noticed I wasn’t replying; I was working, and she started talking down on me because I was let go from the military for medical reasons beyond my control. She said I had failed at everything, including that, and that she was giving me the option to succeed and make my parents proud. Since I wasn’t replying, she called my mom to complain that I didn’t want to do a free painting for her.

As I mentioned, she’s my mom’s goddaughter, and my mom seems to have a preference for her. Mom called me back and demanded I do the painting for free. I became enraged.

Jen’s words about my parents not being proud of me stuck in my head. So, I decided to draw a 2-second sketch and told her that was her free painting and to leave me alone. She became really angry and threatened to post on her socials, telling her followers not to buy from me and to ruin my art career.

I’ve received a few phone calls from my mom, which I haven’t answered, and some hate messages from what I assume are her followers. WIBTA if I send her parents all the mean messages? I don’t think they would approve of her behavior.

Though, they are innocent older people that I would be involving in this drama.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a unanimous agreement that the original poster (OP) is not at fault (NTA) for refusing to provide free artwork to Jen, who is perceived as a “choosy beggar.” Users emphasize that Jen’s demands are unreasonable, particularly her expectation for OP to pay her for the privilege of creating art for free, and many suggest exposing her behavior on social media as a form of accountability.

Most commenters criticize Jen’s entitlement and lack of respect for OP’s work.
There is a strong sentiment that OP should stand firm in their boundaries and consider publicizing Jen’s actions.

Overall Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Conflicts like the one between the narrator and Jen can be emotionally charged and complex, especially when family dynamics are involved. Here are some practical steps for both sides to consider in order to resolve the situation amicably:

For the Narrator (OP)

Set Clear Boundaries: Reiterate your stance on not providing free artwork. It’s important to communicate that your time and skills have value, and you cannot compromise on this principle.
Document Everything: Keep a record of all communications with Jen. This can be helpful if the situation escalates further or if you need to explain your side to others.
Communicate Calmly: If you choose to respond to Jen, do so in a calm and composed manner. Explain your perspective without resorting to personal attacks. This can help de-escalate the situation.
Consider Involving a Mediator: If family dynamics are making it difficult to resolve the issue, consider asking a neutral family member to mediate the conversation between you and Jen.
Protect Your Reputation: If Jen threatens your reputation, consider addressing it publicly in a professional manner. You can clarify your position on social media without attacking her personally.

For Jen

Reflect on Your Actions: Take some time to consider how your requests and comments may have affected the narrator. Understanding the impact of your words can lead to personal growth.
Apologize for Personal Attacks: If you recognize that your comments were hurtful, a sincere apology can go a long way in mending the relationship. Acknowledge the narrator’s feelings and the value of her work.
Reassess Your Expectations: Understand that artists deserve to be compensated for their work. Consider how you can support the narrator’s career without making unreasonable demands.
Communicate Openly: If you still wish to collaborate, propose a fair arrangement that respects the narrator’s time and effort. Be open to negotiation and compromise.
Seek Support from Family Wisely: If you feel the need to involve family, do so in a way that doesn’t put pressure on the narrator. Aim for constructive conversations rather than escalating the conflict.

Conclusion

Conflict resolution requires empathy, understanding, and a willingness to communicate openly. By taking these steps, both the narrator and Jen can work towards a resolution that respects each other’s boundaries and fosters healthier family dynamics.

Join the Discussion

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